Sluiz shopping at closing time

If you can imagine the love child of IKEA and the Conran Shop then you are someway towards having some idea of what Sluiz in Ibiza is all about.

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It’s a massive warehouse style store on the road to Santa Gertrudus (at KM4) and upon arrival you sweep up the drive flanked by blue cows, flags and bunting, into the car park which is full of inappropriate un-PC parking signs (mental disorders, gays, MILFS, etc). When you get out of the car you are blasted with music and a running track leads you into the store.

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TBH there is so much to see – and we had just an hour which meant we had to do a serious amount of sweep browsing! Some of the content is a little adult (emergency vibrators anybody?!) some is rude but funny (mooning gnome doing the middler – we’ve actually brought him home to England ) some is quite frankly bizarre (multicoloured monkeys hanging from a tree…) but all of it is fabulous.

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There is also some fab homewares, furniture, soft furnishing, clothes, food, wine and a cafe. But be warned about the toilets tho as a soundtrack of bodily functions, horror films and sexual acts seems to play on a loop – my 12-year-old boy was a little freaked out! All in all Sluiz is quite frankly #amazeballs and going there an hour before closing time on your way to dinner is ill advised – as you could quite frankly spend half a day there! Particularly if it as one of the rare rainy days in Ibiza, as it’s mostly under cover and simply bursting with fabulous surprises!

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